you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize