my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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