remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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