I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
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I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
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I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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