this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize