Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
this boner is exhausting
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
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Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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