she told me i tasted like america
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Just pee around me
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize