remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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