uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
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Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
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I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
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