I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Green mimosas i think yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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