just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
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I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
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He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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