Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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