Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He? As in you personified your dick?
My life is pants optional.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize