We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
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this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
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Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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