1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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