when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
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And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
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So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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