This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
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He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
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I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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