this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
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Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
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Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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