I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize