umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Randomize