bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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