For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
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he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
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There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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