you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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