I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I need to stop coming to work sober
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize