Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
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Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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