she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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