Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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