just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize