We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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