She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize