I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize