Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
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I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
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He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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