Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
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By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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