They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
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Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
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Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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