so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize