Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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