the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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