The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize