i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
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