Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
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Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
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it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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