I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize