Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize