we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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