just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize