So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
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my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Dick very happy bro
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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