wakey wakey hands off snakey
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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