Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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