He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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