Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
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