the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize