R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize